Lean Pockets, I Don't Even Wanna Know

I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing Consumption Of Bacon.

People Need To Write Articles And They Need To Have Angles In Them And I'm Grateful When People Are Doing Articles, But I Always Say There's Not A Great Mystery To Stand-up Comedy.

I Always Seem To Be Chosen To Do Very Flattering Things Like The Beard Comb Over Or Go To The Bathroom With The Door Open On Sex And The City Or Be The Guy People Meow At In Super Troopers. It's Great For Self Esteem.

When People Look And Decide They Have Nothing In Common With Me - I'm 43, Balding, Blond, Whatever - There's Something Absolutely Invigorating About Winning Them Over. Even If It's Eight People From Sweden Who Don't Understand What I'm Talking About.

I'm There To Make People Laugh. I'm Not Trying To Come Across As Sexy.