Labour Day Is A Great American Holiday

They're Doing Everything They Can To Tighten Security At The White House. Today, On The Roof Of The White House, They Added One Of Those Fake Owls.

Ted Kennedy Is Endorsing John Kerry And I'm Wondering, Do You Really Want The Endorsement Of A Guy With A Bloody Mary Mustache?

You Can Email Me, But I Prefer Letters That Come Through Conventional Mail. I Like Letters That Have Been Licked By Strangers.

Mitt Romney, Two-time Republican Presidential Hopeful, Boxed Former Heavyweight Champion Of The World Evander Holyfield For Charity. It Was A Horrible Moment When Romney Bit Off Holyfield's Other Ear.

Martha Stewart Is Getting Out Of Prison So Today The Terror Alert Was Raised From Orange To Pesto.