Knowledge Isn't Always Good For You.

Back In Khufu's Day I Knew A Magician Who Parted The Nile Just So He Could Climb To The Bottom And Retrieve A Girl's Necklace. Then There Was That Israelite Fellow, Mickey." "moses?" "yeah, Him.

Seriously, Who Has Monogrammed Pajamas?

Oh, Lord. I Was Beginning To Think Like Neith. Soon I'd Be Huddled In An Underground Bunker Eating Army Rations And Cackling As I Sewed Together The Pockets Of All The Boys Who'd Jilted Me.

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

Brother Dear,” I Said, “did Your Soul Leave Your Body While Amos Was Talking, Or Did You Actually Hear Him? Egyptian Gods Real. Red Lord Bad. Red Lord’s Birthday: Very Soon, Very Bad. House Of Life: Fussy Magicians Who Hate Our Family Because Dad Was A Bit Of A Rebel, Whom You Could Take A Lesson From. Which Leaves Us—just Us—with Dad Missing, An Evil God About To Destroy The World, And An Uncle Who Just Jumped Off The Building—and I Can’t Actually Blame Him.” I Took A Breath. [yes, Carter, I Do Have To Breathe Occasionally.]