It's What You Do That Counts And

Marry An Outdoors Woman. Then If You Throw Her Out Into The Yard On A Cold Night, She Can Still Survive.

Abstaining Is Favorable Both To The Head And The Pocket.

Remember, Lady Godiva Put All She Had On A Horse And She Lost Her Shirt!

I Never Met A Kid I Liked.

I Always Made Up My Own Acts; Built Them Out Of My Knowledge And Observation Of Real Life. I'd Had Wonderful Opportunities To Study People; And Every Time I Went Out On The Stage I Tried To Show The Audience Some Bit Of True Human Nature.