It's Easy To Maintain Your Integrity When

Conversation Is A Beautiful Thing. When I Was A Younger Guy, Just Wandering Around Talking To People Was What Kept Me Connected To The World.

Show Business Is One Of The Few Businesses That The Devil Will Actually Agree To Own Just A Portion Of Your Soul Because He Knows If You Have A Performer's Ego You Were Probably Working For Him All Along.

Whether People Know The Evolution Of The Conversation Or Not, I Don't Know, But Thematically, As A Comedian, I Stay In The Same Ballpark - Around My Issues And My Philosophy Of Life.

I Think That Standup Has Always Been An Acquired Taste And There Was Always Only A Handful Of Performers That Were Really Inspired.

I Used To Be Jealous; I'm Not Jealous Anymore. And A Miracle Happened To Me, Because If You're Jealous, It's A Cancer, It's A Plague On Your Spirit, It Really Is. And I Actually Cured Jealousy In A Very Weird Way - I Cured It With Mathematics. And I'm Not A Math Person At All, But I've Been With My Wife For About Seven Years, So We Have Had Sex Probably, I'd Like To Think, Like, 9 Million Times Or, At Least, 1,500. So, The Way I Figured It, If She Goes Out And Screws Some Other Guy Once - I'm Still Winning.