It's Always That One Song That Gets

Baseball's Opening Day Is Full Of Time-honored Traditions: The President Throws Out The First Ball, The Cubs' Starting Pitcher Walks Away With A 54.00 Era, The Royals Get Mathematically Eliminated From The Pennant Race.

'the Sopranos' Gets Praised As Novelistic, But It Follows The Most Banal Of Life Patterns, Showing The Sheer Tedium Of Being A Mobster. It Has Dead Spots, Boring Plotlines, Weak Episodes. Characters Develop Slowly, Or Don't. Like Viewers, A Gangster Might Get Bored, Fade Out Of The Action, Then Come Back To Find None Of His Debts Forgotten.

One Of The Best Moments Of Any Liars Show Is Hearing The Crowd Squawk 'we're Doomed! We're Doomed!' On Cue During 'we Fenced Other Houses With The Bones Of Our Own.' Maybe Not The Most Uplifting Audience Sing-along In The Indie Rock World, But One Of The Most Reliably Entertaining.

Not Being Able To Protect Her From Things Was The Most Frightening Thing I'd Ever Felt, And It Kicked In As Soon As We Got Together. With Every Year We Spent Together, I Became More Conscious That I Now Had An Infinitely Expanding Number Of Reasons To Be Afraid. I Had Something To Lose.

Thanks To The Greatest Invention Of Recent Years, The Mp3-playing Alarm Clock, I Can Now Choose The Song That Wakes Me Up In The Morning.