It's A Letdown If The Comedian Doesn't

I'll Pour You The First One And After That, If You Don't Have One, It's Your Own F****** Fault. You Know Where It Is.

Sex Stops When You Pull Up Your Pants, Love Never Lets You Go.

It's A Letdown If The Comedian Doesn't Finally Actually Really Sit On His Hat.

Work Was Like Cats Were Supposed To Be: If You Disliked And Feared It And Tried To Keep Out If Its Way, It Knew At Once And Sought You Out And Jumped On Your Lap And Climbed All Over You To Show How Much It Loved You. Please God, He Thought, Don't Let Me Die In Harness.

A German Wine Label Is One Of The Things Life's Too Short For.