Inside, I Was Like: "ha, Suck My

Confucius Is Like The Torah, Rules To Follow. And Lao-tzu Is Even More Conservative, Saying That If You Do Nothing You Won't Break Any Rules. You Have To Let Tradition Fall Sometime, You Have To Take Action, You Have To Eat Bacon.

Stephenie Meyer: Her Vampires Are Sparkly, Which I Think We Can All Agree Is Wrong.

We Ask The Gods For Answers And They Give Us Questions

This Is The Man Who Called The Fire Department When The Toilet Backed Up, And I'm Asking Him For Help. What Was I Thinking? Why Am I Attracted To Weak Men?

Do We Look Like Thrill-seekers? Wasn't It Enough That We Had To Put Up That Sign Reading No Habla Espanol And Acknowledge The Existence Of Thirty Percent Of The Population, Even In The Negative?