In Stand Up, You Get An Awareness

It's Strange How Interesting Your Dreams Are, But When Someone Tries To Tell You Their Dream You're Just Like "whatever! Why Don't You Send Me An E-mail So I Can Delete It?"

What Was The Idea Behind Hot Pockets? Was There A Marketing Meeting Somewhere, 'hey I Got An Idea: How About We Take A Pop-tart And Fill It With Really Nasty Meat? You Could Cook It In A Sleeve Thing, And You Could Dunk It In The Toilet.'

You Don't Use Mayonnaise, Why? ... Are You Addicted To Mayonnaise? Is It Okay If I Use Mayonnaise? I Could Go Outside.

I've Been Doing Stand-up For So Long, I Think 19 Years, That I Love Topics I Can Also Expand On. Once I Identify A Topic Like, Say, Seafood, Which Is A Big One Right Now, It's Like There Are Different Kinds Of Tangents I Can Go On To Build A Larger Chunk.

Deep Frying A Twinkie Makes It Healthy, Right?