In Spite Of What Thomas Jefferson Wrote,

'don't Worry About Senility', My Grandfather Used To Say.

In My Old Neighborhood, A Boy Stopped Playing When He Began To Lose His Pulse. And Then He Became The Referee.

As A Comedian, I Can Walk Out In Front Of 5000 People And Not Worry About A Thing. Not A Thing, Believe Me. But To Stand Up A Face A Camera And Crew Of Maybe 15 Guys And Get Up Tight About It - To Me That's Weird.

When The Child Is Twelve, Your Wife Buys Her A Splendidly Silly Article Of Clothing Called A Training Bra. To Train What? I Never Had A Training Jock. And Believe Me, When I Played Football, I Could Have Used A Training Jock More Than Any Twelve-year-old Needs A Training Bra.

A Word To The Wise Ain't Necessary - It's The Stupid Ones That Need The Advice.