In Real Life, I Tend To Yell

I Don't Mean To Get All Religious Here, But I'm Pretty Sure Key Lime Martinis (with A Graham Cracker & Sugar Rim) Are Proof That Jesus Loves Us.

I Never Sleep On The Plane. I Have To Be Awake And Using My Mind Power To Keep It In The Air

You Think You're So Cool Just Because You Can Walk!

I'm A Humor Writer, So I Don't Always Present Myself In The Best Light.

As I Examine My Life Through This Book, I Can't Help But Wonder If My Mother Was Right. Maybe I Really Was What I Ate. And Maybe If She'd Let Me Eat A Little More Sugar, I'd Have Come Out Sweeter.