Imagine You're Drowning, And Someone Hands You

There Are People That Are Vegetarians That Love Bacon.

Boutique Hotels Are Great, But They Get Too Cute. Some Hotels Have Shoe Polish. It's Like, Come On, This Isn't 1960. No One's Polishing Their Shoes.

You Never Want To Be The Worst Bowler Of The Group-because Then Everyone Treats You Like You Have Cancer. "you Can Do It! We're Praying For You." The Advice Starts. "use A Heavier Ball." "keep Your Arm Straight." "you Should Get A Vasectomy." If You're Really Bad At Bowling Like Me, They'll Ask If Want The Bumpers Up. Not That Bowling Is That Complex Anyway. "you Want The Bumpers? We Can Get Rid Of The Pins. Why Don't You Take This Coloring Book And Sit In The Corner?"

Kale Is A Superfood And It’s Special Power Is Tasting Bad.

My Children Have Made Me A Better Man, Which Is - In The End, That's Probably More Important Than Two More Comedy Specials Or Being In Better Shape.