Illinois Is The Only State Where The

When We Started The Show, There Were Mixed Responses. Half Of The People Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Chance.' The Other Half Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Prayer.'

It's Disappointing When You Finally Get To Meet Someone You Admire And He Conducts Himself As A Jerk.

President Obama Is In China. Also In China Is Evil Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin. They're Both In China At The Same Time. It's Like Running Into Your Ex-girlfriend On Vacation.

If It Wasn't For Coffee, I'd Have No Discernible Personality At All.

John Mccain Said That Sarah Palin Is Still A Force In The Republican Party. Then He Got In His Car And Backed Over His Mailbox.