If You Were Married To Marilyn Monroe,

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.

She Didn't Need To Go To Acting School To Learn That The Essence Of Acting Is To Act Like You're Not Acting.

Tennis Is A Young Man's Game. Until You're 25, You Can Play Singles. From 25 To 35, You Should Play Doubles. I Won't Tell You Exactly How Old I Am, But When I Played, There Were 28 Men On The Court - Just On My Side Of The Net.

I'd Rather Be A Flop At Show Business Than To Be A Success At Something I Didn't Like.