If You Want To Talk To Me

People Associate Long Hair With Drug Use. I Wish People Associated Long Hair With Something Other Than Drug Use, Like An Extreme Longing For Cake. And Then Strangers Would See A Long Haired Guy And Say, "that Guy Eats Cake!" "he Is On Bundt Cake!" Mothers Saying To Their Daughters, "don't Bring The Cake Eater Over Here Anymore. He Smells Like Flour. Did You See How Excited He Got When He Found Out Your Birthday Was Fast Approaching?"

Alcoholism Is The Only Disease That You Can Get Yelled At For Having.

The Kit Kat Candy Bar Has The Name Kit Kat Imprinted Into The Chocolate. That Robs You Of Chocolate! That's A Clever Chocolate-saving Technique.

My Lucky Number Is Four Billion. That Doesn't Come In Real Handy When You're Gambling. "come On, Four Billion! Darn! Seven. Not Even Close. I Need More Dice."

Every Book Is A Children's Book If The Kid Can Read!