If You See Something, Say Something.

I've Never Been In Love... But I Imagine It's Similar To The Feeling You Get When You See Your Waiter Arriving With Your Food

I Wish I Could Sit Back And Say, 'oh, I'm Gonna Wait For A Merchant-ivory Film To Come My Way. Or Ivory-merchant. Whatever It's Called. But You Just Take What's Given And Then, Hopefully, Down The Road You Can Be More Choosy And Only Do, Say, Wayans Brothers Movies. That's My Goal: To Be More Merchant-ivory-wayans.

I Don't Like To Have Anybody Tell Me To Be In A Place At Certain Times. That's Kind Of The Advantage Of Stand Up. You're Self-employed.

There Was A Long Time Where I Was An "artist" In Quotes, Who Had No Money. But I Guess Back Then I Also Never Had A Girlfriend.

I Think If You Come Out To California Trying To Be An Actor, It's Pretty Hard. There's Desperation. A Lot Of People Are Desperate, And A Lot Of People Are Clueless, Including Me. It's Hard To Try To Figure It Out. I've Never Told You, But I Have Head Shots That If You Saw Them... They're So Terrible! It's So Embarrassing.