If You're Single, Then I'm Single?" What's

Just Because Of That One Disastrous Blind Date She Had Last Year, Where The Guy Turned Out To Be Fifty-nine, Not Thirty-nine (he Claimed It Was A Typo. Yeah, I’m Sure His Finger Just Happened To Slip Two Spaces To The Left).

For Years Now I've Kind Of Operated Under An Informal Shopping Cycle. A Bit Like A Farmer's Crop Rotation System. Except, Instead Of Wheat, Maize, Barley, And Fallow, Mine Pretty Much Goes Clothes, Makeup Shoes, And Clothes (i Don't Bother With Fallow). Shopping Is Actually Very Similar To Farming A Field. You Can't Keep Buying The Same Thing, You Have To Have A Bit Of Variety. Otherwise You Get Bored And Stop Enjoying Yourself.

I Had No Plans To Be A Writer. My Teenaged Bid For Stardom Was To Be A Pop Star... Which, Ahem, Didn't Exactly Work Out.

You Don't Always Have To Know Who You Are. Sometimes, It's Enough Just To Know What To Do Next.

Life Is Like An Escalator. You See, It Carries You On Regardless. And You Might As Well Enjoy The View And Seize Every Opportunity While You're Passing. Otherwise, It'll Be Too Late.