If You're Going To America, Bring Your

Very Few People Possess True Artistic Ability. It Is Therefore Both Unseemly And Unproductive To Irritate The Situation By Making An Effort. If You Have A Burning, Restless Urge To Write Or Paint, Simply Eat Something Sweet And The Feeling Will Pass.

You Can't Go Around Hoping That Most People Have Sterling Moral Characters. The Most You Can Hope For Is That People Will Pretend That They Do.

Citizen's Band Radio Renders One Accessible To A Wide Variety Of People From All Walks Of Life. It Should Not Be Forgotten That All Walks Of Life Include Conceptual Artists, Dry Cleaners, And Living Poets.

I Never Took Hallucinogenic Drugs Because I Never Wanted My Consciousness Expanded One Unnecessary Iota.

No Animal Should Ever Jump Up On The Dining-room Furniture Unless Absolutely Certain That He Can Hold His Own In The Conversation.