If You're A Comic, You Don't Have

‎what's The Weather Like? ... It's Fierce Mild!

A Lot Of The Fiction I Read Growing Up Was Post-war American, And Not All Of It Centers On Manhattan, But Around People Of The Mad Men Generation, People Like John Cheever And, In More Modern Times, Don Delillo, Who I Always Mention.

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

Maybe This Is Just Me, But As Time Goes By, I'm More Bewildered By Modernity. It Gets More Unfathomable With Every Passing Year.

Nothing Can Make Me Feel Better Now, Except Cocaine.