If You Have To Be In A

If I'm Such A Legend, Then Why Am I So Lonely? If I'm Such A Legend, Then Why Do I Sit At Home For Hours Staring At The Damned Telephone, Hoping It's Out Of Order, Even Calling The Operator Asking Her If She's Sure It's Not Out Of Order?

[on Daughter Liza Minnelli] I Think She Decided To Go Into Show Business When She Was An Embryo, She Kicked So Much.

I Try To Bring The Audience's Own Drama - Tears And Laughter They Know About - To Them.

You Are Never So Alone As When You Are Ill On Stage. The Most Nightmarish Feeling In The World Is Suddenly To Feel Like Throwing Up In Front Of Four Thousand People.

Velveeta: You Can Eat It - Or Wax Your Car With It!