If You Can't Write Your Own Material,

My Car Broke Down Just The Other Day, I Called Triple A, They Came And Towed Me Away!

What A Dog I Got. Last Night He Went On The Paper Four Times - Three While I Was Reading It.

One Night I Asked A Cabbie To Take Me Where The Action Is, He Took Me To My House.

I Tell Ya, Sex Is Getting Harder All The Time. Me And My Wife Were Trying To Have Sex For Hours Last Night And I Finally Gave Up. I Asked Her, "what, You Can't Think Of Anybody Either?"

When My Old Man Wanted Sex, My Mother Would Show Him A Picture Of Me.