If You Can't Write Your Own Material,

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

There's Only One Thing Wrong With My Wife's Face - It Shows.

I Don't Care How Rich And Successful A Man Is. He's Nothing Without An Education.

My Wife Was Afraid Of The Dark. Then She Saw Me Naked, And Now She's Afraid Of The Light.

What A Childhood I Had. My Parents Sent Me To A Child Psychiatrist. The Kid Didn't Help Me At All.