If You Are Capable People Are Happy

Tracy: Stop Eating People's Old French Fries, Little Pigeon. Have Some Self-respect. Don't You Know You Can Fly?

For My First Show At 'snl', I Wrote A Bill Clinton Sketch, And During Our Read-through, It Wasn't Getting Any Laughs. This Weight Of Embarrassment Came Over Me, And I Felt Like I Was Sweating From My Spine Out. But I Realized, 'okay, That Happened, And I Did Not Die.' You've Got To Experience Failure To Understand That You Can Survive It.

Researches Reported That They Developed A Self-healing Plastic That Repairs Itself If Cracked. The Plastic Will Change The Way Airplanes Are Built And Medicine Is Practiced. In A Related Story, Joan Rivers Will Never Die.

I Feel About Photoshop The Way Some People Feel About Abortion. It Is Appalling And A Tragic Reflection On The Moral Decay Of Our Society…unless I Need It, In Which Case, Everybody Be Cool.

I Don't Live The Single Life And Never Really Did.