If People Want To See You, They'll

Thank You... Fat Dude With Giant Headphones On The Subway, For Looking Like What Would've Happened If Jabba The Hutt Mated With Princess Leia.

Despite Russia's Move To Raise Interest Rates This Week, The Value Of The Ruble Has Continued To Crash. Russia's Economy Is So Bad, Edward Snowden Had To Put Government Secrets On Craigslist.

New Scientist Magazine Reported That In The Future, Cars Could Be Powered By Hazelnuts. That's Encouraging, Considering An Eight-ounce Jar Of Hazelnuts Costs About Nine Dollars. Yeah, I've Got An Idea For A Car That Runs On Bald Eagle Heads And Faberge Eggs.

Father's Day Is Important Because, Besides Being The Day On Which We Honor Dad, It's The One Day Of The Year That Brookstone Does Any Business.

In A Recent Interview, Hillary Clinton Said That One Of The Jobs That Prepared Her To Be President Was Sliming Fish In Alaska. As Opposed To Bill, Who Learned By Catching Crabs In Cancun.