If My Catholic Boyfriend And I Ever

I Don't Really Like Saying "the Gays"... I'm Not Sure Why. I Suppose I Say "the Jews." But I Don't Say "the Blacks." I Guess Because I'm A Jew For All Intents And Purposes And To Group People Together Of Which I Am Not One In Such A Casual Way Feels Disrespectful.

I Remember My First Standup Act When I Was Seventeen; I Did A Really Lame Song About Being Flat Chested. I Was Doing It In New York, And I Remember Kevin Brennan, The Guy I Lost My Virginity To, Was Like "that Song Doesn't Make Sense, You Have Tits."

I Buy Water At The Liquor Store Across The Street From Where I Live. So I'm Walking Into The Door, And Standing, Loitering, Outside The Door Is A Man. And I Walk By Him To Go In, And He Says, "i Want Pussy!" Now, I Don't Want To Seem Conceited Or Anything, But He Was Talking About Me!

Why Would I Become Involved With Something That Doesn't Include Everyone? If You're Getting Married Today, It's The Equivalent Of Joining A Country Club That Doesn't Allow Blacks Or Jews.

I’ve Always Had Dreams. When I Was Little, I’d Go To Sleep With My Head On My Hands, Which Were In Fists Like I Was Looking Through A Camera. I Felt Like Sleep Was The Movies - Just Drifting Off To The Movies.