If Life Were Fair, Dan Quayle Would

I Started To Make Harder Jokes Before Anyone Else Did. And The Producers Would Get Anxious. They'd Say, 'that's A Little Bit Hard-edged, Isn't It?' And I'd Say, 'let's Just Try It And See How The Audience Reacts. If They Don't Like It, Let's Cut It Out.' And The Audience Roared With Laughter, So I Learned You Could Do This Harder Humor And People Loved It.

All Humour Is Critical, You Know? You Make Stupid Jokes. I Mean, Stupidity Is An Infirmity, Isn't It?

We Don't Know Where We Get Our Ideas From. What We Do Know Is That We Do Not Get Them From Our Laptops.

For Me, The Great Problem Growing Up In England Was That I Had A Very Narrow Concept Of What God Can Be, And It Was Damn Close To An Old Man With A Beard.

If I Can Get You To Laugh With Me, You Like Me Better, Which Makes You More Open To My Ideas. And If I Can Persuade You To Laugh At The Particular Point I Make, By Laughing At It You Acknowledge Its Truth.