If I Were Running A Campaign, I'd

Electronic Devices Dislike Me. There Is Never A Day When Something Isn't Ailing.

Anyone Working In The Media Can Tell You That There Seems To Be An Always-ready-to-explode Segment Of The Populace For Whom Offense Is A Fate Worse Than Anything Imaginable. You'd Think Offense Is One Of The Most Calamitous Things That Could Happen To A Human Being; Right Up There With The Loss Of A Limb, Or Just Missing A Parking Space.

A Conversation Does Not Have To Be Scintillating In Order To Be Memorable. I Once Met A President Of The United States, And His Second Sentence To Me Was About Knees.

There Should Be Three Days A Week When No One Is Allowed To Say: 'what's Your Sign?' Violators Would Have Their Copies Of Kahlil Gibran Confiscated.

It's No Fun Being A Specimen.