If I Can Be Serious Now, And

The Mars Polar Lander Has Been Quieter Than George W. Bush After A Foreign Policy Question.

Osama Bin Laden... Lived In One House For, Like, Six Years With Three Wives. And Earlier Today, They Ruled His Death Was A Suicide.

Unusual Weather For New York City. Today It Was 68 And Foggy. No, Wait A Minute, That's Me. I'm Sorry, That's Me.

Have You Seen The Olympic Uniforms? It's For The American Olympic Team And It's Berets. To Me, Nothing Says America Like A Guy In A Beret. Look At Our Founding Fathers, They All Wore Berets.

Our Guest Tonight Is Michelle Obama, First Lady Of The United States. She's Here To Announce Her Run For President.