I Write Anywhere. I'm Always Banging Around

I've Done Everything Every Fat Person Ever Has. I've Tried Every Diet.

When I Talk To A Man, I Can Always Tell What He's Thinking By Where He Is Looking. If He Is Looking At My Eyes, He Is Looking For Intelligence. If He Is Looking At My Mouth, He Is Looking For Wisdom. But If He Is Looking Anywhere Else Except My Chest He's Looking For Another Man.

I'm Old Enough And Cranky Enough Now That If Someone Tried To Tell Me What To Do, I'd Tell Them Where To Put It.

I Do Remember How It Was To Be Poor. I Do Remember That In My Early Years, We Had To Grow And Raise All Of Our Food, Even Our Animals. And I Remember In My Early Life, We Didn't Even Have Electricity. So It Was Very, Very Hard Times Then.

I Count My Blessings Far More Than I Count My Money.