I Would Have Changed My Last Name

I Just Try To Keep Myself A Traditionalist. I Liked Being An Underground Comic Doing My Thing. I Want To Maintain That. I Just Do.

I Think If They Put A Laugh Track On 'intervention,' It Would Be Funny.

We All Know How Funny Morrissey Is. Actually, You Know What? I Say That Sarcastically. His Songs Are Some Of The Funniest Songs I've Ever Heard In My Life. I Mean, Really. I Mean, Not That The "girlfriend In A Coma" Is, Like, Really Funny.

You Know It's Time To Do The Laundry When You Dry Off With A Sneaker.

I've Been Happily Dedicated To The Same Woman For A Number Of Years. I Never Even Look At Other Women.