I Work For Myself, Which Is Fun.

Men Have Higher Body Temperatures Than Women. If Your Heating Goes Out In Winter, I Recommend Sleeping Next To A Man. Men Are Like Portable Heaters That Snore.

Men Don't Get Cellulite. God Might Just Be A Man.

I Have A Hold Limit That I've Set For Myself. I Hold Until I Start To Imagine Myself Killing The Person On The Other End. Then I Hang Up And Regroup.

Most Women Are Introspective: "am I In Love? Am I Emotionally And Creatively Fulfilled?" Most Men Are Outrospective: "did My Team Win? How's My Car?"

I Suffer From Peroxide Phobia. Every Time I've Gotten Near A Blond Woman, Something Of Mine Has Disappeared. Jobs, Boyfriends... One Time An Angora Sweater Leaped Right Off My Body.