I Wish It Was That Easy To

If You Wait Too Long In Vegas, You End Up With A Chicken Finger In Your Underwear.

I Wanted To Kick Bruce In The Taint. No One Is Just One Thing. Many Things Contribute To The Whole Of A Person, And Just Because Vodka Accounts For 50 Percent Of My Body Weight, That Doesn't Mean I Walk Around With A Vodka Drip, Forcing Every Plant, Person, Or Animal To Imbibe. I've Always Had A Disliking For Animal Trainers, And This Guy Cemented My Theory That People Who Chaperone Animals For A Living Have Never Had A Girl Sit On Their Face.

Getting Rewarded For Being Pregnant When You're A Teenager? Are You Serious? I Mean, That Makes Me Want To Kill Somebody.

My Tendency To Make Up Stories And Lie Compulsively For The Sake Of My Own Amusement Takes Up A Good Portion Of My Day And Provides Me With A Peace Of Mind Not Easily Attainable In This Economic Climate.

It's Unfiltered Conversation And I Love It. I Also Like To Argue With Children, So It's The Perfect Platform For Me.