I Wish I Could End Every Rap

Even When People Are Rich And Successful On Tv Shows, There's Always Some Trouble - You Have To Poke Holes In Them, Throw Them Out Of A Job, Put A Pie In The Face.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

I Never Thought I Was A Libertarian Until I Picked Up Reason Magazine And Realized I Agree With Everything They Had Printed.

The Marines Gave Me A Really Strong Sense Of Discipline And A Work Ethic That Kicks In At My Job.

Oh, And Once, When I Was In The Marines, I Got A Perfect Score On My Physical Fitness Test.