I Watch A Lot Of Sports. But

I Was In A Hotel Room In Dallas, And I Was Jerking Off So Much And So Sadly And Pathetically, That The Phone Rang, And I Thought It's Them, They're Complaining. ... "sir, Could You Please Stop?"

When Your Kid Is Being Selfish Or Greedy And You Want To Help Them Not Be That Way, You Have To Find A Way To Articulate It And Inspire Them.

One Thing I Learned From Drinking Is That If You Ever Go Christmas Caroling, You Should Go With A Group Of People. And Also Go In Mid-december.

All Talking Is Good, Negative And Positive. Stabbing Is Bad; Talking Is Good.

Breaking Records Is Not Something You Expect To Be Doing. That's Like A Sports Thing, It's Not Usually A Comedy And Writing Thing.