I Was A Ballerina. I Had To

There Is A Woman Who Swam Around Manhattan, And I Asked Her, Why? She Said, It Hadn't Ever Been Done Before. Well, She Didn't Have To Do That. If She Wanted To Something No One Had Ever Done Before, All She Had To Do Was Vacuum My Apartment.

The Closest I Ever Came To A Menage-a-trois Was When I Dated A Schizophrenic.

You Know It's Love When You Want To Keep Holding Hands Even After You're Sweaty.

My Parents Were Glad To See That My New Husband Looks Like A 'regular Guy'-no Earring Or Anything. But Really I Think A Man With An Earring Is Better Prepared For Marriage. I Mean, He's Already Experienced Pain And Bought Jewelry.

Men Own Basketball Teams. Every Year Cheerleaders' Outfits Get Tighter And Briefer, And Players' Shorts Get Baggier And Longer.