I Want To Start Saying Bad Words

David Hasselhoff Was Hospitalized After Falling Off The Wagon Again. He Probably Got Used To Drinking Too Much, Because For Years He Never Had To Worry About Driving Anywhere - His Car Drove Itself.

Rumer Willis Was Having A Great Time At The Opening Of A Club When Her Twin Walked In, Also Known As Her Dad, Bruce Willis. How Embarrassing For Her, She's Out With Her Friends And They're Like, 'umm, Rumer, I Think Your Dad Put Something In My Drink.'

According To An Article On Cnn.com, A New Study Says People Who Are Bad Kissers Don't Get Laid. Where Are You Supposed To Learn How To Kiss? If You Go To Catholic School, It's From Your Priest; In Public School, You Learn From Your Teacher; And Some Guys Learn From Their Sisters... If Their Sister Is Angelina Jolie.

I Met My First Midget In Mexico, And He Was A Waiter With A Sombrero On His Head, Filled With Chips And Salsa. Like I Was Gonna Let That Guy Get Away - I Don't Think So.

I've Always Been Exactly Who I Am On Tv. I'm Not Playing A Role.