I Want My Best Friend Back, She

Emma Was A Shocking Driver, Simultaneously Sloppy And Petrified, And For The First Fifty Miles Had Been Absent-mindedly Driving With Her Spectacles On Top Of Her Contact Lenses So That Other Traffic Loomed Menacingly Out Of Nowhere Like Alien Space Cruisers.

She Glanced At The Other Diners, All Of Them Going Into Their Act, And Thought Is This What It All Boils Down To? Romantic Love, Is This All It Is, A Talent Show?

I Had Made This Mistake Once Before, On A School Trip To The Victoria And Albert Museum, When I Followed A Sign Marked Women, Thinking It Was An Exhibition On The Changing Roles Of Women In Society, And Actually Ended Up Standing In The Ladies' Toilets.

Be Nice Wont You?" "i Am Nice, I'm Always Nice." "but Not Too Nice. I Mean Don't Make A Religion Out Of It, Niceness.

I Am Not Up To This. I Am Not Capable. I Thought I Would Be, But I'm Not. Some Part Of Me Is Missing, And I Cannot Do This.