I've Never Done A Comedy Club In

My Parents Used To Take Me To The Pet Department And Tell Me It Was A Zoo.

What Is It With Mcdonald's Staff Who Pretend They Don't Understand You Unless You Insert The 'mc' Before The Item You're Ordering? It Has To Be A Mcchicken Burger...a Chicken Burger Gets Blank Looks. Well, I'll Have A Mcstraw And Jam It Into Your Mceyes, You F**cking Mctosser!

I Once Travelled To Adelaide On Emu Airways. I Was 5,000 Ft Up In The Air When Someone Pointed Out To Me That Emus Can't Fly

The Desire To Be A Politician Should Bar You For Life From Ever Being One.

Sometimes There's A Tackiness About Route 66 That Out-tacks Any Tackiness I've Ever Seen Anywhere Else. And The Meramec Caverns Are The Pinnacle Of That Tack.