I've Got A New Invention. It's A

I Was The Worst Hitter Ever. I Never Even Broke A Bat Until Last Year When I Was Backing Out Of The Garage.

When I First Signed With The Yankees, The Regulars Wouldn't Talk To You Until You Were With The Team Three Or Four Years. Nowadays The Rookies Get $100,000 To Sign And They Don't Talk To The Regulars.

Hell, Lou (gehrig) It Took Fifteen Years To Get You Out Of A Game. Sometimes I'm Out In Fifteen Minutes.

One Rule I Had Was Make Your Best Pitch And Back Up Third Base. That Relay Might Get Away And You've Got Another Shot At Him.

I'm Something Like The Old Soak Who Never Knew Whether His Wife Told Him To Take One Drink And Come Home At 12, Or Take 12 And Come Home At One.