I've Always Wanted To Have A Greek

Yesterday, I Masturbated For 45 Minutes... With Salad Tongs.

You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.

I Just Try To Keep Myself A Traditionalist. I Liked Being An Underground Comic Doing My Thing. I Want To Maintain That. I Just Do.

My Comfort Zone Is Press Conferences.

I Think If You Come Out To California Trying To Be An Actor, It's Pretty Hard. There's Desperation. A Lot Of People Are Desperate, And A Lot Of People Are Clueless, Including Me. It's Hard To Try To Figure It Out. I've Never Told You, But I Have Head Shots That If You Saw Them... They're So Terrible! It's So Embarrassing.