I Usually Have Sex To My Stand-up

I'm Pretty Careful About The Things I Say Ahead Of Time. I'm Thoughtful About Not Going Too Far. The Only Thing You Can Do Occasionally Is Be Too Much.

Before You Can Be All Deprecating It's Helpful To Be Self-deprecating.

Life Is Tough, And If We Don't Laugh, We're Going To - Our Head Will Explode.

It's Very Rare That An Older Comedian Sort Of Slips Into An Old-school Clunker. You Know, You Don't Hear Too Much Of That Anymore.

Comedy Comes From Pain, And No One Knows That Better Than This Woman Roseanne Barr—who Was Molested As A Child. Uch. That Poor Molester. Roseanne Never Got Over It. She Felt Violated. She Had Trust Issues. She Never Got The Candy He Promised Her.