I Used To Work At The International

There Are Really Only So Many Foods And So Many Ways You Can Prepare Them.

When Every High School Graduate Can Spell The Word, 'inauguration,' Let's Put Lampshades On Our Heads And Listen To His Speeches Until Obama's Voice Gives Out.

I Don't Have A Bank Account Because I Don't Know My Mother's Maiden Name And Apparently That's The Key To The Whole Thing Right There. I Go In Every Few Weeks And Guess.

The Definition Of Adulthood Is That You Want To Sleep.

I Was The Youngest In My Family. When The Other Kids Went To School, My Mother Would Make Them Breakfast And Then She Would Go Back To Bed For An Hour, So I Was Sort Of Babysat By Television.