I Think Life Is A Jape. Yours,

Tyrion Let The Eunuch Help Him Mount. "lord Varys," He Said From The Saddle, "sometimes I Feel As Though You Are The Best Friend I Have In King's Landing And Sometimes I Feel You Are My Worst Enemy." "how Odd. I Think Quite The Same Of You.

Tarly, When I Was A Lad Half Your Age, My Lady Mother Told Me That If I Stood About With My Mouth Open, A Weasel Was Like To Mistake It For His Lair And Run Down My Throat. If You Have Something To Say, Say It. Otherwise, Beware Of Weasels.

She Just Laughed In His Face And Told Him She'd Sooner Crawl In A Bed With His Father's Leeches Before She'd Crawl In One With Him. She Stopped Laughing When He Put His Knife In Her.

Turtles Have Always Been My Sigil, I Suppose. When I Was A Kid, Growing Up In Bayonne, Nj, I Lived In A Federal Housing Project, And We Were Not Allowed To Have A Dog Or Cats. The Only Pets I Could Have Were Turtles. So, I Had An Entire Toy Castle Filled With Dime-store Turtles. I Gave Them All Names, And Since They Were Living In A Toy Castle, I Decided They Were All Knights And Kingsand I Made Up Stories About How They Killed Each Other And Betrayed Each Other And Fought For The Kingdom. So, Game Of Thrones, Actually Began With Turtles. I Decided Later To Recast It With Actual Human Beings.

Yes - 90% Of Fantasy Is Crap. And So Is 90% Of Science Fiction And 90% Of Mystery Fiction And 90% Of Literary Fiction.