I Think If You Write Humor, Then

I Like To Reserve The Right To Write About Whatever I Like.

Listen, You Might Want To Pack A Few Of Your Things Together Before Going To Bed. The Former Bishop Of Turkey Will Be Coming Tonight Along With Six To Eight Black Men. They Might Put Some Candy In Your Shoes, They Might Stuff You Into A Sack And Take You To Spain, Or They Might Just Pretend To Kick You. We Don't Know For Sure, But We Want You To Be Prepared." This Was The Reward For Living In The Netherlands. As A Child You Get To Hear This Story, And As An Adult You Get To Turn Around And Repeat It.

In Paris You're Always Surrounded By French People.

I Spend So Much Time Like Living In The Past Or The Future. I Mean, I Think Most People Do, Really. And The Moments When You're Really Present In Your Life Can Be Pretty Rare, Really.

There's A Reason Regular People Don't Appear On Tv: We're Boring.