I Think Furniture Is Art. I Don't

There Are All Sorts Of Books Offering Advice On How To Deal With Life-threatening Situations, But Where's The Advice On Dealing With Embarrassing Ones?

I Was Coming Home From Kindergarten - Well They Told Me It Was Kindergarten. I Found Out Later I Had Been Working In A Factory For Ten Years. It's Good For A Kid To Know How To Make Gloves.

I Get To Do Stand-up Every Single Day. I Love That Live Energy Exchange Between The Audience And Myself, And To Get To Say The Things I Want To Say And Comment On.

You Say You're Sick And Tired Of Hearing About Me? I've Got News For You: I'm Sick And Tired Of Hearing About Me.

While I Was Doing Stand-up, I Thought I Knew For Sure That Success Meant Getting Everyone To Like Me. So I Became Whoever I Thought People Wanted Me To Be. I'd Say Yes When I Wanted To Say No, And I Even Wore A Few Dresses.