I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't

Elizabeth Taylor's So Fat She Puts Mayonnaise On Aspirin.

I Was Getting Dressed And A Peeping Tom Looked In The Window, Took A Look And Pulled Down The Shade.

I Was So Flat I Used To Put Xs On My Chest And Write, 'you Are Here.' I Wore Angora Sweaters Just So The Guys Would Have Something To Pet.

I Am A Dyke! And I'm Damn Proud Of It!

Self-pity Shortens Your Life.