I Think Anyone Who's Perfectly Happy Isn't

Don't Follow Any Advice, No Matter How Good, Until You Feel As Deeply In Your Spirit As You Think In Your Mind That The Counsel Is Wise.

I Have No Sex Appeal And It Has Screwed Me Up For Life; My Gynecologist Examines Me By Telephone.

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.

But You Do Have To Learn, If You Want To Be A Satirist, You Can't Be Part Of The Party. Meaning, You Can't Go Horseback Riding With Jackie O In Central Park If You're Going To Make A Joke About Her That Night.

What We Do Is A Calling...we Make People Happy.