I Spend Most Of My Free Time

I Can Hardly Wait Until Donald Trump Announces His Celebrity Cabinet.

Last Night The United States Dropped Four 2,000 Pound Bombs On Saddam Hussein. I Don't Know Anything About Explosives, But, My God, Do Those Things Even Need To Explode?

I Vote Democrat Because Freedom Of Speech Is Fine As Long As Nobody Is Offended By It.

I Love The Protests. And If You Think About It, What Better Way To Send A Message To Wall Street Than By Sitting In A Pup Tent Banging On A Drum.

Welcome To The Program. My Name Is Dave Letterman, And Tonight I'm Giving My Two-week Notice.