I Realize My Arms Aren't As Toned

I Love Horror Movies And I Love Being Scared, But I Don't Like Them, If They're Not Based On A True Story. It's Like Knowing How The Sausage Is Made.

Jon Stewart Hires People That He Thinks Are Funny. That's It. That's The Only Requirement.

Live The Life You'd Be Envious Of If You Saw Someone Else Living It.

How Many Of You Have Had A Crush On A Teacher? I Mean, Remember That Physics Professor? Law One Is So Steamy, I'm Getting Worked Up Just Thinking About It: Every Object In A State Of Uniform Motion Tends To Remain In That State Of Motion Unless An External Force Is Applied To It. Mee-yow.

I Have A Dark Sense Of Humor.