I Realize My Arms Aren't As Toned

Be Okay With Who You Are. And That You Can't Choose Your Parents Or What Life You Were Born Into, But You Can Choose The Kind Of Person You Want To Be.

Everyone's So Timid And Afraid To Insult Anybody, But In The End, It's Like We're All Trying To Please Everyone. In The End, We Please No One.

If You Think Something's Funny, Go With That. Most Comedians Pull Jokes From A Place Of Honesty.

How Many Of You Have Had A Crush On A Teacher? I Mean, Remember That Physics Professor? Law One Is So Steamy, I'm Getting Worked Up Just Thinking About It: Every Object In A State Of Uniform Motion Tends To Remain In That State Of Motion Unless An External Force Is Applied To It. Mee-yow.

I Remember Reading These Articles When I Was Younger, And I Just Felt Like, Well, In Order To Look Like That, You Have To Have Some Secret, Magical Unicorn Blood That Makes Carbs Disappear As They Go Into Your Body. I Prefer The Truth.