I Promised That From Now On I

Once I Returned To The Church And Began To See The Universe As A Place That Really Did Incorporate Redemption And Really Tried To Understand The Implications Of There Being A God, My Identification With The Vampires As Outcasts, As Outsiders And Lost Souls Began To Totally Wane. It No Longer Worked For Me. I Had Done It. It Had Led Me To This Point.

I Was Obsessed With Religious Questions, The Basics: Why Are We Here? Why Is The World So Beautiful?

We Have To Become Saints. We Have To Become Like Christ. Anything Less Is Simply Not Enough.

Mortal Beauty Often Makes Me Ache, And Mortal Grandeur Can Fill Me With That Longing...but Paris, Paris Drew Me Close To Her Heart, So I Forgot Myself Entirely. Forgot The Damned And Questing Preternatural Thing That Doted On Mortal Skin And Mortal Clothing. Paris Overwhelmed, And Lightened And Rewarded More Richly Than Any Promise.

And What If I Never Go Of My Own Free Will? Will You Pitch Me From Some Window So That I Must Fly Or Fall? Will You Bolt All Shutters After Me? You Had Better, Because I'll Knock And Knock And Knock Until I Fall Down Dead. I'll Have No Wings That Take Me Away From You.