I Never Spend My Time Doing Anything

I Went Out Into The World When I Was About 22. I Wrote Books And I Illustrated Books And Did Book Covers, And I Taught Tap-dancing, And I Was A Model In The Art School. I Had No Ability For Any Of Those Things, But What Else Could I Do?

Vice Is Its Own Reward. It Is Virtue Which, If It Is To Be Marketed With Consumer Appeal, Must Carry Green Shield Stamps.

God, From Whose Territory I Had Withdrawn My Ambassadors At The Age Of Fourteen. It Had Become Obvious That He Was Never Going To Do A Thing I Said.

I Asked A Girl Who Came From America To England, When I Was Only English, And She Admitted She Had Been To A Drama School. And I Said, "what Did They Teach You?" And She Said, "they Taught Me To Be A Candle Burning In An Empty Room." I'm Happy To Say She Was Laughing While She Said It, But She Meant It. I've Never Learned To Be A Candle Burning In An Empty Room. So I Go On The Screen, And I Say Whatever I'm Told To Say.

I Am A Stereotype. I Am An Effeminate Man.