I Married A Saint - Well, A

The More I Go Through Parenting, The More I Say I Owe My Mother An Apology.

For The Sake Of Your Marriage, Get A King-size Bed. And If You Really Want To Stay Married, Get Two.

If I Have Sex, I Know My Quarterly Estimated Taxes Must Be Due. And If It's Oral Sex, I Know It's Time To Renew My Driver's License.

My Daughter's Tricycle Said "some Assembly Required." It Came In A Jar.

I Have The Show Because I'm Insecure. It's My Insecurity That Makes Me Want To Be A Comic, That Makes Me Need The Audience.